Slightly Sad Horoscopes
Slightly Sad Horoscopes are a celebration of the cheesy, nonsensical magazine advice columns and horoscopes of my youth.
See your Horoscope, as well as more of my writing on Medium.
In The Stars, On Your Plate, “Kibbitz”
Local Brooklyn sandwich shop and grocery Edith’s celebrates the food and culture of the Jewish diaspora. For the grand-opening of their new store, they created the ‘zine “Kibbitz” and asked me to create special food-themed horoscopes.
Cancer, June 21 – July 22
You know the feeling when you get an assorted mix of chocolates but you don't know which one is which and then you bite into that one with that fuckin pink goop? Yeah, this month is kinda like that. :C
Your Candy Heart:
#1 STALKER
Sagittarius, November 22 — December 21
Look out Sagittarius. Look out for fake calls from the IRS and look out for bad dancers on the train and also look out for cracks that break your mother’s backs. Look out when you cross the street and look out for lucky pennies. They’re out there. You’ll need them the week of the 24th.
New Year’s Resolution:
“I will learn something new this year — as long as that something comes with a Groupon.”
